1 1 1
  1 1 1  
  1
1 1 1
1
1 1 1
1   1
1 1 1
1
1 1 1   1 1 1
    HUMOR      


Mr McFarland

Patrick McFarland has played with the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra since 1964, having held the position of Solo English horn since 1968. After 47 years, he has retired!!! ....More



New Shipments
Have Arrived!


Click Here!

 

 

They're refined and sensible on the podium, but these musicians are responsible for some pretty brutal put-downs. Uncover the greatest catty remarks and withering comments from some of the best musical minds in the world.

 
1. God tells me how the music should sound, but you stand in the way. (Arturo Toscanini)

 
2. He tried Debussy's La Mer once. It came out as Das Merde!  (Orchestra member on George Szell)

 
3. Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it. (Sir Thomas Beecham to a cellist)

 
4. Why do you always insist on playing while I'm trying to conduct? (Eugene Ormandy)

 
5. It's like a lot of yaks jumping around! (Sir Thomas Beecham on Beethoven's Symphony No. 7)

 
6. A tenor is not a man but a disease. (Hans Von Bulow)

 
7. English sopranos sound as if they subsisted on seaweed. English tenors sound like yawning giraffes. (Sir Thomas Beecham)

 
8. I hate you all because you destroy my dreams! (Arturo Toscanini)

 
9. Her singing reminds me of a cart coming downhill with the brake on. (Sir Thomas Beecham on a soprano)

 
10. I am a pig! (Arturo Toscanini)

 
If you thought classical music was all about peaceful tunes and harmony, think again. The gloves are off and the claws are out as we explore some of the rudest, most insulting composer put-downs in the history of classical music.

 
1. Listening to the Fifth Symphony of Ralph Vaughan Williams is like staring at a cow for 45 minutes. (Copeland)

 
2. I like your opera - I think I will set it to music. (Beethoven)

 
3. What a good thing this isn't music. (Rossini on Berlioz's Symphonie Fantastique)

 
4. He was a six and a half food scowl. (Stravinsky on Rachmaninov)

 
5. All you need to write like him is a large bottle of ink. (Stravinsky on Messiaen)

 
6. It is the most insipid and base parody on music. (Tchaikovsky on Mussorgsky's Boris Godunov)

 
7. It's beautiful and boring. Too many pieces finish too long after the end. (Stravinsky on Handel's Theodora)

 
8. The musical equivalent of St. Pancras Station (Sir Thomas Beecham on Elgar)

 
9.  Wagner has beautiful moments but awful quarters of an hour. (Rossini on Wagner)

 
10. A tub of pork and beer. (Berlioz on Handel)

 
11. The audience expected the ocean. Something big, something colossal, but they were served instead with some agitated water in a saucer. (Louis Schneider on Debussy's La Mer)

 
12. He likes what is coarse, unpolished, and ugly. (Tchaikovsky on Mussorgsky)

 
13. A composer for one right hand. (Wagner on Chopin)

 
14. He gives me the impression of being a spoilt child. (Clara Schumann on Liszt)

 
15. All Bach's last movements are like the running of a sewing machine. (Bax on Bach)

 
16. What a giftless bastard! (Tchaikovsky on Brahms)

 
17. Handel is only fourth rate. He is not even interesting. (Tchaikovsky on Handel)

 
18. If he'd been making shell cases during the war it might have been better for music. (Saint-Saens on Ravel)

 
19. I like the opera very much. Everything but the music. (Britten on Stravinsky's The Rake's Progress)

 
20. He'd be better off shovelling snow than scribbling on manuscript paper. (Richard Strauss on Schoenberg)

 
21. Bach on the wrong notes. (Prokofiev on Stravinsky)

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
I
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
z~
 
 
~
 

 
 


 

    We accept Visa, MasterCard, Discover and American Express

We Accept

We also accept mail orders
with check enclosed to:
McFarland Double Reed Shop
925 Canterbury Rd., Suite 1247
Atlanta, Georgia 30324

Home | New | Used | Consignment | Recordings | Supplies | Forms | Masterclasses | Links | Humor
Click to view map